We all have worries. “What if my adult son wants to move in with us?” “What happens if I lose my job and can’t pay the bills?” “What if my partner breaks up with me?” “What would happen if my parents got divorced?”
Of course we worry because there are so many things we have to handle in our lives, and it’s not always clear what we have to do. But there is a crucial difference between types of worry, and understanding it can help you begin to reduce and relieve worry. Let’s take a look at two common types of worry.
Type 1 – Worrying about a situation that is happening right now.
There’s no doubt about it… there’s a problem facing you and you’re worried. In this case, it’s best to take the situation head on: make the best decision you can and take action. If it seems overwhelming, break the task down to manageable segments and do the next thing that moves you toward resolving the issue. If it’s something you need to know, you can do research online or get expert advice. If you need help, ask for it. You can ask family, friends, and/or your spiritual support. If none of these help, pay someone to help if you can afford to! But keep taking steps until the issue has been decided or completed.
Making progress on a Type 1 worry can bring such relief. Here are some examples of decisions and actions people have made and taken with a head-on approach:
· “I decided my child will learn at home rather than go back to the classroom during Covid.”
· “Even when I was very scared, I went to get the blood draw my doctor ordered. I survived.”
· “I made a list of companies I could work for and submitted five job applications today.”
· “I decided it was worth the money to buy an air conditioner. No more sweltering around here!”
Type 2 – Worrying about a situation that might happen in the future.
If you feel scared about something that could happen but hasn’t happened yet, it’s possible you’re making yourself miserable. There may be nothing you can actually do about it now. It may be something you can never have control over. But still, have compassion for your worry because most often people have learned to be worried from their family or someone close to them.
Type 2 worry is often connected to underlying negative beliefs about ourselves, others, and/or life. By “underlying” I mean that we’re not even aware that these beliefs are running below the surface:
· “The world is dangerous.”
· “Life is hard, and it’s against me.”
· “I’m not really loved for who I am.”
· “Others don’t really care about me.”
· “I don’t even like myself most of the time.”
It’s important to become aware of these beliefs and challenge them. Are they really true!?
And, in addition to addressing the underlying beliefs, do your best to calm your resulting fears and shift your specific Type 2 worries by telling
yourself, “There’s nothing I can do about this now, and it may never happen. If it does happen, I will handle it then. I can get help if I need to.”
Some people definitely need professional help in uncovering the cause and the way out of the pain of worry and anxiety. I’d love to help you with this. If anxiety is something that affects the quality of your life, please reach out. I’m here.
In either type of worry, be sure to soothe yourself first, and conserve your energy. Have faith in yourself. Focus on things you can accomplish now. And enjoy the good things in your life.
Leave a Reply